I Have To Fix This Right Now…. Don’t I?
June 30, 2009 by Jenny Good · View Comments
As a woman who was raised to be independent, I have always prided myself on pushing through the task at hand until it is finished. In the business world, my drive to close the deal and see the project through has always served me well…. or has it?
Recently I was faced with a situation in which a business deal was turning sour. Being a bit *cough* of a perfectionist, I was beside myself trying to figure out where I went wrong in that interaction…. what should I have done differently…. and what could I do to fix it NOW. Distressed that I couldn’t seem to come up with the answers, it happened that I was about to have a session with my own coach and I brought my situation up with her. She asked me a question. She asked me “What would happen if you did nothing?”
Nothing?! Did she really just say that? Hey I thought life coaches were action oriented! I thought about her question and I said, “I have no idea. I have to fix it though.” She asked me why I had to fix it NOW. It began to be more clear to me that sometimes doing nothing is an action all its own.
As my assignment or “fieldwork” for that week, I was to try my hand at letting this situation sit. To leave it alone without trying to fix it and without trying to analyze it, then revisit it in 1 week. Guess what?
6 days later the client involved phoned me and was quite apologetic. He explained he had personal things going on and that he just sort of was on overload. He wanted to see if I would consider staying on the project! If I had changed anything in the 6 days I chose to wait and see what happened, I would have devoted my energy to an area it needn’t be expended.
Surely I am not saying you should ignore your challenges? Not at all. But what I am saying is that sometimes we have to slow down and really step back for a moment to be clear on what area our energy is best expended. Your personal energy and will are powerful tools so it’s important to use them in the ways and areas that best suit you. Many times we believe we have to fix it now or we have failed. It is okay to leave an issue unresolved to gain some perspective on it.
The next time you are beating yourself up to have the right answer, stop. Ask yourself what would happen if you didn’t fix it…. TODAY.
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